Becoming a Step-parent by Marriage

Mon, 20 Jan 2014

Oftentimes, couples have a child or children from previous relationships who they want to acknowledge in some special way during their wedding ceremony. These couples recognise that their marriage is not just the beginning of a new married life for the two of them, but also the beginning of a new family which includes their children.  Children sometimes feel left out or threatened by the new partner. A good way to provide reassurance to the child is to include them by name when wording the ceremony and to acknowledge that they are not losing a parent but gaining a supporter and confident.  Not someone to replace another parent, but someone to be their friend and guide and on whom they can depend on for love and support in the future.

As well as acknowledging children by name and with words, some new step-parents chose to present a gift to the child during the ceremony.  Much in the same way that the bride and groom exchange rings, the step-parent presents the child with a symbolic gesture oftentimes a piece of jewellery like a locket or ring. The step-parent acknowledges the inclusion of the child in their relationship and offers friendship and support for a lifetime.

The acknowledgement of a child/children in a ceremony is generally kept as a secret, and once the vows and rings have been exchanged the child is called forward to stand between the bride and groom. The special words and presentation are then made. This outward sign of unity for the blended family is warmly welcomed by the child and the wedding guests as it focuses on the family unit and just not the two individuals being married.

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